Mikeadams78

Ok I'm an unfortunate artist that can't draw from my brain or imagination. The things I invision will never see the light of day. I need to see the details to make my work look good. I need to see the proportions or what I draw will only be a crude drawing of what it should be. I use google images all the time and I find great photos to work from. Here's the problem thought, photographers don't sign there work? Why would you do that, If I find your image on google and like it and want to hire you but dont' have a clue where the photo came from or who took the photo then what do I do. All artist sign there work, usually someplace out of the way of the actual image bottom corners or sometimes hidden in the image it self but easily can be found. Photographers gripe all the time about not being credited for there work especially since most artist use there photos for reference. However more than half the time the picture is just shared on google or facebook and the original source image is not found. I've even searched the meta data of an image and found where the artist did not edit the data. Some new photographers are using a custom logo or signature on the front of the image even a few school pictures have it. I'm just baffled why they don't do this. 

Ok I'm an unfortunate artist that can't draw from my brain or imagination. The things I invision will never see the light of day. I need to see the details to make my work look good. I need to see the proportions or what I draw will only be a crude drawing of what it should be. I use google images all the time and I find great photos to work from. Here's the problem thought, photographers don't sign there work? Why would you do that, If I find your image on google and like it and want to hire you but dont' have a clue where the photo came from or who took the photo then what do I do. All artist sign there work, usually someplace out of the way of the actual image bottom corners or sometimes hidden in the image it self but easily can be found. Photographers gripe all the time about not being credited for there work especially since most artist use there photos for reference. However more than half the time the picture is just shared on google or facebook and the original source image is not found. I've even searched the meta data of an image and found where the artist did not edit the data. Some new photographers are using a custom logo or signature on the front of the image even a few school pictures have it. I'm just baffled why they don't do this. 

So I can draw, very well. However I need to make money like anyone else. I have a huge portfolio actually going into my 3rd portfolio. I want to sell my art, market my art, get paid to do nothing but art. However, I don't know how, I don't know what I should charge for my art or where to sell my art. I'm the grunt who can do the work, I don't know about galleries, or marketing online. I don't know where to publish my work to get the most attention, I just know how to do the work. I've had some very very very minor success on Craigslist. However craiglist feels like i'm scrapping the bottom of the barrel and begging for sales. I wish I could just do the work and someone else take care of selling my works and finding me new clients. I don't want to do the work and all the selling and marketing. I've tried websites with no success, even here i've noticed no one is looking at my work any more. I've almost talked my self out of drawing again and again, each time finding the call to draw my only reason to stay. I used to have days off from work and play video games, and if I didn't play video games I felt like I wasted my time off! How stupid does that sound for a 35 year old man to say but it was true. When I had busy weekends and no time to play I felt like when I got back to work I had wasted my free time and now it was too late. About 2 years ago I replaced video games with drawing, and get that same feeling when I return to work. I'm off 4 days a week, I work 12 hour shifts and get paid pretty well. When i'm off if i don't do at least 2 drawings a day I feel like I wasted my time off. When I'm at work all I can think of is getting back home to draw something else. Drawing has replaced my video game addiction, now drawing is my addiction. At least in drawing I truly feel I have accomplished something when I am done. Video games only left me feeling empty inside with nothing to show for it. However I hear artist making $3000 a month in sales from drawing or painting, and when I look at a lowly $25 I made for a month of work I feel like I wasted my time. I know money shouldn't equate to the value of what you do but It would be nice to see a huge pay off in the end. Also realizing my work is to me great but maybe to others not so great. Even I in 2006 thought I was a great artist, and today I see works I did from that era and realize it's good work but not great work. Even the work today that again I believe is great, I know given time will be just good work again. I hope to keep mastering how to draw, I refuse to move on to color until I truly master pencil art. I may never master it but I will enjoy it. 

This year I lost my brother in law to suicide, my wife's god mother to lung failure, and now my grandfather to a major heart attack. For years i've never truly worried about my future my grandfather always said we would be taken care of. Whenever a problem came up that I didn't know how to handle he stepped up and helped me. I never truly tried to stand on my own 2 feet because I knew if I staggered he would always catch me. Hearing his legacy today showed me the flaws in me and how little I have actually accomplished in this life. I worked security for 14 years, I didn't finish college, I didn't finish becoming a police officer, i've never tried to step out on a limb and try to be anything. In his shadow I felt protected and I didn't have to try as hard to succeed. Now I either do something or give up entirely. I have to make a plan and stick to it, then accomplish one goal and then move on to another goal and so fourth and so fourth until I can't go on anymore. No more counting on one man to rescue me from this life, I either embrace a destiny or give up life entirely. My wife, my children and most of all my self depend on me doing something soon. I don't know where my future is headed but I have to do something now before i'm to old and worn out to make a move on my own. I have to do something that would both make me proud of me and my grandfather can smile down from heaven and see. I'm not sure what it will be but I hope I do it soon, I hope this isn't bullshit and me just unleashing something on paper. Wish me luck

Well as you can tell i'm back in the swing of drawing again. My son's new school started last monday so it's presenting some problems. The new school starts at 8am so I have to get up at 6:45am and get them to school by 8:00am. That's no big deal but when I get home at night I pretty much have to go straight to bed so no more week night projects, which is a bummer. If your an artist the need to draw is like a crack addiction, it's constantly on your mind and when you go day's and day's without fulfilling that need it stresses you out. It's like going without soda for a few day's the caffeine addiction eventually starts screaming in your head to get a soda or die! I've picked up a few paying projects recently.....let me clarify by paying. It's pretty much enough to buy a new sketch pad and another portfolio but it will never pay the bills. We are trying to get our bills under control in our house, cut off a few non-essential services(netflix, hulu), lowered our cell phone bill. However everytime we blink another problem arises. Last week I had a root canal, it was an emergency and cost us $800.00. I go back this week for follow up and I'm told I need over $4000 worth of dental work to fix a few fractures in my teeth and 3 fillings, and possibly another root canal on a impacted wisdom tooth. My wife recently started having trouble with her vision which is effecting her job, so were looking at close to $300 or $400 eye glasses. My wife and I discussed it and I have to get a part time job, it may be a permanent part time job. If it works out I'll have to put my drawing stuff back in the closet like I've done before. I once took a break for over 6 years, it was hard getting back into it after such a long break and took me a year to retrain my self. I fear if I put it down this time that I won't ever pick it up again. I love drawing, I love the reaction's I get from my work, however my families needs come before my hobby. I should know in less than 2 weeks If I have the new job or not. In the mean time I'll continue while I can to keep posting new pictures until the very end. Thank you all for the support and encouraging words, hopefully I wont' be gone forever, but sometimes it happens.